Just Another Night

"Mom, I can't find my pajamas!" This statement yelled by Andrew is about to set off a bizarre conversation. Sadly, these conversations are normal for our family.

"They are in your folded pile of laundry." I had done about 10 loads of laundry that day and I washed every dirty piece of clothing I could find. Don't let the number fool you, two months ago with my old washer it would have been 30 loads.

"What? They can't be in my pile because I only wore them one night!" You need a little background here. First, our kids wear their pajamas two nights in a row and then put them in the dirty pile. Second, Andrew is tied down to routine and beware the wrath if you disturb it. He is still ranting that he can't find them and has not yet looked in the clean stack of PJ's because he is in severe denial. I calmly walk over, pick them up and hand him his PJ's clean and nicely folded. Instead of thanks I get a rant.

"But Mom! They weren't supposed to be washed yet because I only wore them once." His face is so full of sorrow that I automatically start to apologize.

"I'm sorry. I just washed everything I..." At this point my mind begins to catch up to my mouth. "Wait a minute. Are you seriously yelling at me because I washed your clothes?"

Andrew just stomps into the bathroom to change and begins humming which means he is going to be a while. During this whole thing, Julia is telling me she needs help finding her PJ's and showering. I keep telling her just to wait until I'm done with Andrew and then I will help her.

Meanwhile Bella is calling Julia sweetie and telling her she will help her. As I listen to Andrew spray half a can of air freshener in the bathroom Julia gets a concerned look on her face. Julia approaches Bella like she is a coiled rattlesnake and says "Why are you being so nice to me Bella?" I burst out laughing as the girls head downstairs and Andrew opens the door of the bathroom and walks out in a fog of Apple Spice.

"Andrew, I'm already getting a headache from all the spray." This is an ongoing issue in our house.

"Well mom, I didn't spray the toilet seat this time." I once discovered the uncomfortable way that Andrew liked to spray the toilet seat. Walking around all day with your bottom smelling like apple spice is not pleasant.

I just smile and say, "Thanks Andrew, I appreciate that."

He smiles back (apparently going to the bathroom has improved his mood) and says, "Yeah, I know. It feels nice doesn't it."

At this point I just look at Gary who has been quietly working on his computer. "What did that mean and what just happened here?" Andrew not only got in the last word, he has also left me completely baffled. Sadly, baffled seems to have been my constant state of mind since having kids.