I have been awake for 90 minutes and I already feel as if I have put in a 13 hour day. I was on call last night so I came home at 6:00 am and Gary walks out as I walk in. He is on his way to a job site visit and as he grabs the keys from me he gives me a warning. "Everyone is already up, the dog went into their rooms this morning." Five minutes later Andrew and Julia are fighting over what town we are going to trick-or-treat in next week. Ahh, the troubles with living in the country, so many towns, so little time.
After threatening to send the kids back to bed I call Gary and tell him that if the dog ever wakes the kids up again I will drive him to Illinois and leave him there. It is now time to make their lunches. Everyone shouts out they want their usual and I have to tell Bella we are out of bananas so she can not have her usual PB and banana sandwich. Little did I know those words would set off world war three.
"Bella, you will just have to do PB& J today. I don't have any ham because nobody ate it last time and we had to throw it away."
"But I don't like jelly, I don't like anything we have!"
"Bella, you loved PB& J."
"If I don't like it anymore it is your fault! You never put enough peanut butter and jelly on it and all I could taste was bread! And if I yell at you all the time it is because you always tell me everything I do is wrong and I can never do anything right!" I look at her and she is manic. As I look for the nearest foxhole to duck and cover I flash on a description Bill Cosby once gave of his wife having a conniption fit complete with fire shooting eyes. She stomps, swirls and runs down the stairs where I am sure she is writing out how horrible I am. There are probably even pictures of me as her jailer giving her nothing but bread and water.
As I finish making her lunch I consider putting half a jar of peanut butter and half a jar of jelly on the bread, and then I remind myself I am the adult. I suddenly hear my mom's voice in my head. "I hope you have a daughter just like you." Oh my god, it's the mother's curse. I don't think my mom ever actually said these words to me but it is possible that she said them to the wind 20 years ago and now the curse has found me.
Once they determine it is safe Andrew and Julia come out of hiding and begin the craziness all over again. After I help Andrew remove the go-gurt covering his arm and find a new shirt for him I announce it is time to go. Bella calmly comes up the ladder, puts on her coat, grabs her backpack and her lunch and heads out the door. Julia and Andrew have already managed to lose their gloves (it's only October) and I get them to the bus just in time. I don't let anyone get out of the car until I look them eyes and say "I love you. Have fun today." As I walk to the front door I realize I feel physically and emotionally spent. I feel as if a Dementor from Harry Potter has just touched me and sucked all the life out of me, just leaving a hollow shell. If I didn't have to work today I just might have tried to sleep for the next 8 hours.
Just to let you know, Bella just called from school a minute ago. "I left my saxophone at home mom, and I need it today. Can you bring it for me? I love you." I know that some day I will miss all this craziness, but can't it just take a 10 minute break?
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