I have toiled, I have fought and I have worked off about 10 pounds trying to defeat it (or I would have if I didn't keep using my hard work as an excuse to devour yet another pint of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream). What is this terrible force that has beaten me down and knocked me out for the count? Mother Nature.
Mother Nature and I have always had an understanding. I would lecture everyone I encountered in life on the virtues of recycling and the evils of styrofoam and good old MN would whip up one heck of storm and blow all of the leaves in my yard into a neat pile against my garage thus saving me the work and tediousness of having to rake them up myself. This was a great arrangement unless you were my former neighbor Ginger who always worked so hard in her yard raking only to wake up one morning and find all of my leaves neatly piled in my yard or thoroughly scattered through hers. (Sorry Ginger)
This arrangement has worked so well throughout the years that I thought it would follow me as Gary and I moved our family right into the middle of nature. Our house came complete with 6 large flower beds and countless other small ones already planted and gorgeous. All I had to do was wait and see what came up right? Wrong. After 128 days of snow and ice I was finally ready to see my beautiful yard. Unfortunately it was totally covered in leaves.
Alright, I thought, I will give good old MN a break and rake because she had one heck of a winter. I then commenced to use a leaf blower, two different sized rakes and free child labor (the labor laws don't count if their yours) to clean up my yard. I put in more hours of work on this one yard that I have only owned since November than I have on all the properties we have owned since 1998. It looked beautiful. The next morning I wake up to one heck of a wind and my flower beds and yard covered in leaves.
What the heck? Where was our bargain? Did I not laugh hard enough at the man from Direct TV who asked me if I was willing to cut down some trees to get reception? Did I not tell my kids that the trees around our house took priority over watching TV? I mean this was a bold move on my part. We would have nothing to watch on TV except for movies we owned or watched because there is no cable this area, no dish possibilities and no antennae reception. As far as my children were concerned we already live in the dark ages because we only own one TV and it's not even a flat screen.
I forgave MN figuring she was getting back at me for buying a gas guzzling large SUV that is the poster child for American Conspicuous Consumption and commenced raking once again thus doubling my former yard work record from the weekend before. Wonderfully exhausted I decided to sit on my deck and enjoy the view content in the knowledge that people would see a wonderfully manicured lawn and flower bed when they came over. As I sat there in the quiet hearing the occasional bird call I heard a lot of rustling. I assumed it was our resident fat squirrel and looked up to see the largest oak leaf for miles around falling through the trees.
My first thought was that I didn't know leaves could be so loud when they fell, I mean it sounded like a wild boar running through the underbrush. As I watched it bounce from branch to branch I realized it was heading right for my lawn. Sure enough it landed square in the middle of the grass mocking me and shaking in the breeze with suppressed laughter. I was so furious that I actually tried to track it's path backwards to locate the offending tree it had come from so I could cut it down.
It has been a week since that leaf fell and I find myself once again raking leaves into the woods. As I was raking I came to realize the Mother Nature was just making me aware that I have not bought a house that has trees as an accessory. I am paying a bank monthly for the privilege of living among nature at her mercy. By living in the woods I have to realize that I can not conquer the woods. So if you come visit don't be surprised if you pull into the driveway only to see a wall of green with what looks like a deer trail that might lead you to our door.
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