I have decided to post this story so every time Gary suggests I take the kids shopping with me and I give him the bug eyed are you crazy look he can just read this and understand.
So I took Bella with me to run some errands and have some fun girl time. Andrew needed a nice shirt and while we were at the store I decided to try on a dress. Now Julia is only five so you can expect to be telling her every other second that she can not unlock and open the door while you are in your underwear. Bella is eight, so really what could happen in the dressing room. Unfortunately Bella likes to talk (I don't know where she gets it) and she loves to asks questions and she does it very loudly. After watching me Bella very loudly says "Mom what are those scars on your side?"
I very calmly and quietly tell her that they are stretch marks.
"But you have more over there mom! And look, there are some on your legs too!" By now everyone in the dressing room is being treated to a detailed account on the location and size of my stretch marks. "How did you get so many?"
I just calmly look at her and say, "Well, I have three kids and each of you added more."
I quickly poke my head out to make sure no one is looking and run out of there as I listen to the quiet laughing coming out of the other rooms. You would think I would know better by now. This is not the first time this has happened. Here is a sampling of other things said loudly for all to hear.
"Mom, that looks a little tight. Maybe I should get you a bigger size."
"Mom, why do you have boobs?"
"Mom, why do your feet look like that? I think you need some lotion."
"Mom, I like how your thighs jiggle." (said while Andrew is pushing on them)
I think you get the idea. From now on, I am shopping alone.
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